Monday, July 16, 2012
I joined Facebook about 7 years back, obviously migrated from Orkut and MySpace. And over this period I started adding everybody I know from school, college, work and even my dog. Trust me it was a bad idea as of today whenever I logon to Facebook I see stupid updates, get invites for things I am not interested and get poked by idiots.
If you don't have a Facebook A/C you won't get this. I know everyone is free to use Facebook the way they like to, but some people really don’t get Facebook at all. I have categorized them and you may be one of them, but which one?
You are the person who always seeks attention in other words The Attention Whore, your updates are like "I am so ugly :'(" or "Something really bad happened, I just don’t want to talk about it." Then why did you post it on your status? You need constant reassurance from people. You feel a compelling need for the rest of the world to tell you that you are a good person.
Don’t delete them from your list, they are the best victim to troll (:
You are a really boring person in real life, you got no creativity. You are not a fun person at all and probably seeking attention by sharing others updated and pictures. You never really say anything, just LOLs and LMFAOs at everything. You re-share every post possible.
Basically you are a thief, who steals status updates and wall post. Seriously stop that.
(E.g. If you love GOD/SHIT/CRAP then ‘Like’ and ‘Share’ this photo – http://tinyurls/STFU)
You never actually say anything on any status update, but always click the “Like” button. You never post anything or never comment on any status update, but read everything and might make reference on their status if you see them in public. You are more like a stalker.
You try to sound very deep, well in real people find you boring and ignore your updates. If you see there will be hardly any likes or comments on your status, may be only your mom is ‘Likes’ your updates. People don’t need GYAN, on the other hand they hate when somebody is bombarding them with it.
You are the one who post photos of your travels only, you hardly post anything outside your travelling. You upload 300 pictures at a time once you come back from a trip on Facebook. You have nothing else to share or talk about on Facebook. You get very few likes and comments on the photos and as no one is interested except your stalker.
You are always talking about shit babies and shit again (dogs/cat/goat), uploading only pictures of your babies. It's understood that your children and pets are your world. But to everyone else, they are a glorified tamagotchi.
(E.g. Wow, Jackie just did #2 on the doormat, so cute – http://tinyurls/wtf)
In case if there is a GOD, I don’t want to go to HELL. You always share pictures and posts of GOD and beg others to re-share your shit. I think you should have born in medieval age, you are a fool to believe that sharing a photo on Facebook will bring you good luck.
(E.g. God has always kept me in safer side.. am thankful to god always)
You play “FarmVille”, “Mafia Wars”, “Angry Birds” all day, you send gift requests to your friends and most of them have blocked you from sending gifts to them on Facebook, that is why you don’t see their names while sending gift requests. Ha Ha!
This person always sends you event invitations to things that you are not even remotely interested, ultimately gets delete or ignore. You must have joined KONY Campaign and many other animal rights pages on Facebook. You see, you didn’t make any difference at all, everything is same as before and there is nothing you can do about it.
I love it when I see love birds around me, couples who are deeply in love with each other. Then comes a very sad break up and we all have someone like this in our friend list, they always post some emotional status about how they’re missing or incomplete without their Ex or show they are recovering and moving on in life.
(E.g. No one gets tired of Loving, but everyone gets tired of waiting, assuming, hearing lies and hurting.!!!)
Well you post pictures holding alcohol (bottles/glasses), your check-ins in night clubs and pubs all around the city. Pictures of parties you attend in clubs or friends place, most of the times it’s the same group of people (friends) you hang around with. You are known for your drinking in your friend circle.
Seriously what’s wrong with your shift key??? (If u typ lyk dis… FU). To me you sound like a teenager who is trying to show that he is cool and actually you think it’s cool to type like this. You are wrong it’s not cool at all.
You feel that it’s your job to tell on Facebook “Good Morning”/ “Good Evening”/ “Good Night” every day.
You have 1,269 friends in your list for no reason. Don’t you need any privacy in your life? Adding so many people you hardly know about and they can see all your posts and updates. Remove people you don’t know well or never seen in real, most of them are with fake profile and are stalkers.
Joydeep Deb is a Senior Digital Marketer and Project Manager with 15+ years of experience in Digital Marketing, Lead Generation, Online Brand Management, Marketing Campaigns, Project Management, Search Engine Optimization (SEO), Search Engine Marketing (SEM), PPC, eMail Marketing, Web Analytics, Web Technologies, Web Design and Development.
With an MBA in Marketing. IIM Calcutta Alumini. Lives in Bangalore, Karnataka - India.
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